Oxford Vegetarians Web
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Vegetarian Union. Whenever an “obesity epidemic” story is featured on TV it will invariably include shots of a high street, with a variety of wobbling pot bellies and enormous bottoms. The unwitting victims are always shown with their heads cropped off. I assume that this is done to ensure that these individuals don’t recognise themselves and attempt any sort of legal action. This sort of discretion seems at odds with a society where some people will apparently do absolutely anything to get their 15 minutes of fame. On the hugely entertaining You Are What You Eat TV programme, staggeringly overweight people allow themselves to be filmed while having a colonic irrigation. They are then informed (in minute detail) of exactly what is wrong with their “pooh”. (All very well I suppose, but it is really necessary to use that sort of language on TV?)
With the bestseller lists full of food fad diets I’ve finally realised that this is my opportunity to make a million. I am writing the get-slim-quick book that will be an absolute sensation. The Stalingrad Diet will reveal the secret that the global multi-billion dollar diet industry doesn’t want anybody to know. Burn up more energy than you consume by eating and you will lose weight. One person on You Are What You Eat was stuffing himself with over 8,000 calories per day! Driving a few hundred yards to the takeaway was an essential part of his daily exercise regime. A perfect candidate for the latest reality TV show – Help, I’m A Fat Moron, Get Me Out Of Here.
As the government makes futile attempts to control the obesity epidemic there are the inevitable accusations of interference from the ‘Nanny State’. Any official healthy eating campaign will have a pitiful budget. As explained in the superb Super Size Me documentary, McDonalds global advertising budget exceeds $1.6 billion per year. Coca Cola spends a similar amount. It is depressingly predictable that those with the most money will easily win the battle for the hearts and minds of the majority. Ironically, those who attack the machinations of the ‘Nanny State’ will never understand how their eating habits are so skilfully manipulated by the junk food giants.
One US hamburger chain (Hardee’s) has responded to the demands for healthier food by producing “The Monster Thickburger”. This packs a whopping 1,420 calories, 107 grams of fat and it only costs £3. America – the epicentre of the obesity epidemic – has also produced one solution to this escalating problem. To accommodate vast corpses the US funeral business now offers “The Goliath”. This super-sized coffin can accommodate anyone up to 64 stone!
Paul Freestone, December 2004
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Oxford Vegetarians Web
site is hosted by the International
Vegetarian Union.
This page created 25 December 2004 by Paul Appleby.